Beer for Breakfast

Headbutt the weak

Bring back Christians vs Lions, that's what I say. That'd be some television. Don't lie to me. You only watch the Winter Olympics to see the skiers wipe out on the downhill slopes. I'd wear that shirt and go to the sports bar. "I'm a Lions fan!" "Me too!" "Have you ever met a Christians fan?" "Only in Oklahoma and South Dakota. But they say God invented lions anyway, so they're kind of torn. Which is funny, really, because that's what happens to the Christians on a Saturday afternoon anyway..."

I hate it here

These are the new streets of this city, where the New Scum try to live. You and me. And here in these streets are the things that we want: sex and birth, votes and traits, money and guilt, television and teddy bears. But all we've actually got is each other. You decide what that means.

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

The annual performance review consists of a flogging followed by a beating.

Thanks, Logan

Even though you're about as easy to get a hold of as a greased eel, yanowhatimean?

The stupid leading the blind

Why doesn't anyone offer to help me cross the street?

That crappy little town you came here from

Yeah, I know it's got a museum and historical site, but who doesn't? They hand those out like candy in this country.

Back from the laboratory

Which is what I call the room in my apartment where I keep my computer

Aphasia is the new tower of Babel

This is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down.

Shooting yourself in the foot to death

Why all these old people in charge of newspapers are going to be greeters at Wal-Mart five months hence

That lady was rude as fark

Seriously, I don't think she should have that job if that's the way she's going to be.

My little megaphone

How to talk to and over people

Stuff white people hate

In which I still refuse to elaborate on my purchase of a tiny Chinese megaphone on eBay from Hong Kong, or its attached rainbow wrist strap.

It is not like a truck

More like a pinata, with delicious candy trapped inside. Viva pinata!

The most irresponsible purchase you can make

In which I do not discuss my recent purchase of a megaphone through eBay from China.

A whole new world

A couple of things I figured out about the site

Introductory statement and complaint

how did this get here i am not good with computer do not ban me please

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2009 2010

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