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How it feels to go on a date with a sugar daddy

CHALK HIF Sugar Daddy

In the summer of 2018, Tatum was working at Starbucks in her Ohio hometown when she met a man, she calls her sugar daddy. 

I'd been working at Starbucks for four years. One summer, a man by the name of John made a habit of coming in twice a day for coffee: once in the morning, and once mid-afternoon. John was a tall, handsome, 50-year-old single and confident man. He wore black every day. Black pants, shirt, sports coat, and even aviators.

The way he looked had me hooked instantly. Because of where I’m from, a small town just an hour outside of Ohio, the only available and single men seem to work on farms and herd cows all day.

I made John’s coffee every time he came in, but I never got the courage to talk to him until one morning, when I was feeling spontaneous. I wanted to find an excuse to talk to him, rather than just say, “John! Your order’s ready!” So I asked him, in a sassy yet flirtatious tone, “Are you coming back for your second drink today, John?”

He immediately responded. Looking straight into my eyes, he said, “Do you want me to come back?” 

“Yes I do," I said. "I want to make your Grande vanilla latte.”

"Well," he replied. "Only if you’ll give me your number.”

John and I quickly exchanged phone numbers and went our separate ways. We both had to get back to work.

The next day, John texted me and asked me out to dinner at this really nice steak house called The Goat. I knew that I was going to respond with a yes, but I wanted to wait a little to answer. I wanted to keep my cool and show that I was confident too. But the only thing I could think of was how fast my heart was beating. Questions started flowing through my mind. “Will people think of me as a gold digger, being seen with a man who is 28 years older than me?”

And I couldn’t help but wonder: “Am I getting a sugar daddy out of this?”

I was living at home, but I couldn’t tell my mom or dad. My mom would kill me and then follow that up with a “that's so un-lady like." I didn’t even want to think about what my dad would have to say. So, I told only my best friend, and she helped me get ready for the first date with my new so-called sugar daddy.

It was a 75-degree summer night, so I chose to wear a white dress with floral print. The dress stopped at the top of my kneecaps but had a deep V-neck on the upper part of the dress. I wanted to show that I was classy, but could look hot. I was nervous. I knew I needed to look presentable while with him — he was a successful businessman who knew a lot of people in our hometown.

He picked me up at my house. Our car ride to the steakhouse started off a little awkward, but it didn't stay that way for long. He complimented me, and even opened the door for me as I got into the car. "What a gentleman," I thought. "Am I really going to have to start dating older men to be treated the way I like?"

I knew there was a large gap between our ages, not only because of the way he looked, but the things he found interesting, like ‘70s rock and roll music. I thought to myself, “What the hell am I going to say about ‘70s rock and roll?” I wasn’t even a thought in my parents mind in the ‘70s.

“Just act mature and cool,” I told myself.

At dinner, John ordered three different appetizers and a bottle of my favorite red wine. I had surf and turf, while he had a large ribeye followed by crème brûlée. It was the most expensive dinner I had ever had.

After dinner, he drove me back home, opened the car door for me and said to me, “Here kid. Here’s $200 for gas money and necessities for school. Save it. You’ll need it for when you drive back to KU.” Then he kissed me.

The night ended. I walked into my bedroom and jumped onto my bed. What a way to end my last summer night in Ohio. I still talk to him about every two weeks, but I haven't seen him since that night.

Person 1: This song slaps.

Person 2: Your mom slaps.

Person 1: Thank you, my mom is a kind and wonderful lady.


 Person 1: I’m so sick of alcohol.

Person 2: I don’t know, I’m getting stronger every day. I love it.


Person 1: Do you do the vegan wrap here?

Person 2: We can do the chicken wrap with no cheese?

Person 1: I’ll take the Beyond Burger please. 


Person 1: Oh my God! I feel like I know you somehow…

Person 2: Yeah, we went to high school together. 

Person 1: Oh! *walks off*


Guy 1: Is the black market even real? Has anyone ever been on it?

Guy 2: I tried once but I couldn’t figure out how to get on.


Guy 1: I stayed up until 2 am watching Disney plus

Guy 2: I told my girlfriend I fell asleep but I was actually watching the Mandalorian.


Girl 1: How long have you guys been dating?

Girl 2: Since the summer, well actually for like two years but it’s a long story.


Girl 1: Who are you looking for?

Girl 2: This guy, wait I found him. Fanny pack boy. He flipped off my professor after a test and ran out of the classroom.


Girl 1: How did you choose KU? 

Girl 2: Honestly, I flipped a coin. 


Boy 1: Did I tell you? I think I had a threesome this weekend.

Boy 2: Woah, hold up. You think?


Boy 1: I was born a Phi Delt.

Boy 2: Please don’t ever say that again.


Girl 1: How do you get your boobs to look like that?

Girl 2: I don’t ever wear a bra? I don’t know. 


Girl 1: I just really want a guy to bend me over you know?

Girl 2: How do you know? You’re a virgin!


Guy: Sometimes I wish I could just be a dog and sleep all day. 

Girl: You wake up at like three every day. 

Guy: I know.

Girl: So…

Guy: So does that make me a dog or something?


Girl 1: I wish I was a little bit taller.

Girl 2: I wish I was balder.

Girl 1: I wish I had a...wait, wait, wait balder?


Guy 1: Let’s slap dicks

Guy 2: You ever pee and it feels like throwing up?


Woman 1: *holding baby* He would have been safer at the Hawk

Woman 2: Oh absolutely.


Girl 1: I would never date that guy.

Girl 2: Well, it depends how much money he has.


Girl 1: I’m going to the doctor to see if I have bronchitis before I hook up with him again.

Girl 2: Yeah that’s smart so you don’t give it to anyone else. 

Girl 1: No I mean I want to make sure I infect him.


Guy 1: I'm cutting some of my unnecessary costs, starting with Juuling.

Guy 2: Ight man, good luck.

Guy 1: Actually I might just start chewing


Guy 1: How was work?

Guy 2: My manager was chastising me for not dressing up in a Halloween costume, she doesn’t understand I’m strictly here to get paid.


Guy 1: I am so tired of this week, man

Guy 2: Dude it’s Monday

Guy 1: I know


Person#1: I want to be on the first ship to mars

Person#2: Not me, I doubt they have Wi-Fi

Perons#1: Yeah but at least they’re evolving up there. We’re all just devolving.


Girl 1: Um, I don’t eat pig.

Girl 2: You eat bacon all the time, bitch.


Guy 1: You better get going. 

Guy 2: Yeah, see ya. I’m off to get some Adderall.


Girl 1: Are you home right now?

Girl 2: Yeah, why?

Girl 1: I bought a cat


Girl 1: I just don't understand what fishing is for.

Girl 2: I don't know. Food, maybe?


Guy: I’m just gonna have to like carry an entire box of spiders up the hill tomorrow.

Girl: What?

Guy: Yeah, just like a hundred spiders in a box.


Guy 1: Sometimes ya just gotta give yourself a haircut.

Guy 2: Dude, you shaved half your head. That’s not a haircut, that’s a mess.


Girl 1: Can you eat fruit raw?

Girl 2: How else are you supposed to eat it?


Girl: That class is killing us. ​But they say rest is for the dead.

Guy: Well, at least we'll be rested.


Girl: She's not in class this semester

Guy: Maybe she's dead

Girl: Or studying abroad