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New Music Monday: Rock out midterm stress

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"New Music Mondays" is a column that highlights recently dropped music from prominent artists.

With COVID-19 still wreaking havoc on our world, sometimes it’s nice to just have a break and rock out. Take a break this week from midterm stress or pent up COVID-19 aggression and enjoy some new music from some hard rock artists. This week’s New Music Monday features a few albums from various rock artists, as well as three singles by Of Mice and Men. 

“Detroit Stories” by Alice Cooper

Alice Cooper’s newest album “Detroit Stories” exudes the singer’s Motor City roots. Created in Detroit with Wayne Kramer, Mark Warner, Johnny “Bee” Badanjek, Steve Hunter, Joe Bonamassa and the Alice Cooper Band, the album is a wonderful arrangement of different unique riffs. Songs like “Go Man Go” and “$1000 High Heel Shoes” sound a bit different from Alice Cooper’s more famous and heavier songs like “Poison” and “Feed My Frankenstein,” but considering those songs came out over a decade ago, I think it’s safe to assume that change is good.

“NIRATIAS” by Chevelle

Chevelle’s newest album “NIRATIAS” pushes the boundaries of hard rock. The album focuses on simulation theory, space travel and wild technology. The album “NIRATIAS” is actually an acronym meaning: “Nothing is real and this is a simulation.” The band was amidst writing the album when COVID-19 hit, and said they gained inspiration for the album's focus from what seemed like an unreal, real-life situation. With standout songs like “Self Destructor” and “Remember When,” one can escape today’s reality for a moment while listening to this album. 

“Timeless” by Of Mice and Men

Of Mice and Men’s newest three singles are very similar to their other music, and that’s a good thing. Like some other artists, Of Mice and Men have found ways to share their music during COVID-19. The band thought it would be better to release the singles instead of a full album so that their fans could have quicker access to their music. Thank goodness for that because the songs “Obsolete” and “Timeless” have a heavy sound that is almost impossible to forget, and will have you jamming all day to the music in your head. 

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Person 1: This song slaps.

Person 2: Your mom slaps.

Person 1: Thank you, my mom is a kind and wonderful lady.


 Person 1: I’m so sick of alcohol.

Person 2: I don’t know, I’m getting stronger every day. I love it.


Person 1: Do you do the vegan wrap here?

Person 2: We can do the chicken wrap with no cheese?

Person 1: I’ll take the Beyond Burger please. 


Person 1: Oh my God! I feel like I know you somehow…

Person 2: Yeah, we went to high school together. 

Person 1: Oh! *walks off*


Guy 1: Is the black market even real? Has anyone ever been on it?

Guy 2: I tried once but I couldn’t figure out how to get on.


Guy 1: I stayed up until 2 am watching Disney plus

Guy 2: I told my girlfriend I fell asleep but I was actually watching the Mandalorian.


Girl 1: How long have you guys been dating?

Girl 2: Since the summer, well actually for like two years but it’s a long story.


Girl 1: Who are you looking for?

Girl 2: This guy, wait I found him. Fanny pack boy. He flipped off my professor after a test and ran out of the classroom.


Girl 1: How did you choose KU? 

Girl 2: Honestly, I flipped a coin. 


Boy 1: Did I tell you? I think I had a threesome this weekend.

Boy 2: Woah, hold up. You think?


Boy 1: I was born a Phi Delt.

Boy 2: Please don’t ever say that again.


Girl 1: How do you get your boobs to look like that?

Girl 2: I don’t ever wear a bra? I don’t know. 


Girl 1: I just really want a guy to bend me over you know?

Girl 2: How do you know? You’re a virgin!


Guy: Sometimes I wish I could just be a dog and sleep all day. 

Girl: You wake up at like three every day. 

Guy: I know.

Girl: So…

Guy: So does that make me a dog or something?


Girl 1: I wish I was a little bit taller.

Girl 2: I wish I was balder.

Girl 1: I wish I had a...wait, wait, wait balder?


Guy 1: Let’s slap dicks

Guy 2: You ever pee and it feels like throwing up?


Woman 1: *holding baby* He would have been safer at the Hawk

Woman 2: Oh absolutely.


Girl 1: I would never date that guy.

Girl 2: Well, it depends how much money he has.


Girl 1: I’m going to the doctor to see if I have bronchitis before I hook up with him again.

Girl 2: Yeah that’s smart so you don’t give it to anyone else. 

Girl 1: No I mean I want to make sure I infect him.


Guy 1: I'm cutting some of my unnecessary costs, starting with Juuling.

Guy 2: Ight man, good luck.

Guy 1: Actually I might just start chewing


Guy 1: How was work?

Guy 2: My manager was chastising me for not dressing up in a Halloween costume, she doesn’t understand I’m strictly here to get paid.


Guy 1: I am so tired of this week, man

Guy 2: Dude it’s Monday

Guy 1: I know


Person#1: I want to be on the first ship to mars

Person#2: Not me, I doubt they have Wi-Fi

Perons#1: Yeah but at least they’re evolving up there. We’re all just devolving.


Girl 1: Um, I don’t eat pig.

Girl 2: You eat bacon all the time, bitch.


Guy 1: You better get going. 

Guy 2: Yeah, see ya. I’m off to get some Adderall.


Girl 1: Are you home right now?

Girl 2: Yeah, why?

Girl 1: I bought a cat


Girl 1: I just don't understand what fishing is for.

Girl 2: I don't know. Food, maybe?


Guy: I’m just gonna have to like carry an entire box of spiders up the hill tomorrow.

Girl: What?

Guy: Yeah, just like a hundred spiders in a box.


Guy 1: Sometimes ya just gotta give yourself a haircut.

Guy 2: Dude, you shaved half your head. That’s not a haircut, that’s a mess.


Girl 1: Can you eat fruit raw?

Girl 2: How else are you supposed to eat it?


Girl: That class is killing us. ​But they say rest is for the dead.

Guy: Well, at least we'll be rested.


Girl: She's not in class this semester.

Guy: Maybe she's dead.

Girl: Or studying abroad.


Girl: They're like oil and water.

Guy: Wow, you're so good with analogies.