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Not today, satan: 10 alcohol-free things to do in Lawrence

CHALK 10 things no drink

SOS. It’s Saturday and your parents surprised you with a visit. They ask what you do for fun on the weekends, but you don’t want to tell them you’re a regular at the Bull. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re not really into underage or binge drinking.

Don’t worry, Chalk has you covered. Here are 10 things you can do in Lawrence that don’t involve alcohol, with input from actual students. Your liver can thank us later.

1. Head to the rec

OK, so maybe your parents don’t want to work out. But the rec center is a good way to take a break from drinking. Take your pick of working out on the elliptical, playing a game of basketball or ringing the bell after rock climbing.

2. Spend a day at Clinton Lake

Whether it’s just a drive down the windy E 900th Road or a day full of exploration and views, you can’t go wrong with Clinton Lake. “I love going out to Clinton Lake and putting up a hammock, especially when the weather’s really nice,” says Ojas Patel, an Overland Park native in the third year of his MD program.

3. Eat your way through Larry Town

If you take a walk down Mass Street or head over to Iowa Street, you’re bound to run into a restaurant. Nothing is better than finding a new go-to spot for you and your friends. “I just kind of like going to random restaurants or eateries and kind of just go in, sit down and enjoy the local cuisine,” says Cole Bruening, a philosophy graduate student from Sioux City, Iowa.

4. Hang out with friends

Sometimes it’s just nice to be surrounded by your people. It can ease parents’ minds a little, too, about who their beloved child surrounds themselves with. Sierra Waters, a sophomore from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, agrees: “I like to hang out with my friends. We don’t even have to do anything."

5. Throw an axe or roll a ball

For those who don’t particularly care for sports, there are sports disguised as activities. Head to Blade & Timber for some axe throwing. Another option: a few rounds of bowling at Royal Crest Lanes.

6. Shop on Mass Street

One doesn’t even need a reason to visit Mass Street — just like Target, you let Mass Street tell you what you need. Whether that means a basket of fried pickles from Jefferson’s, a new-to-you book from The Dusty Bookshelf,  or maybe a hand-crafted shirt from Acme, you can’t go wrong with a weekend visit to the heart of downtown Lawrence.

7. Lawrence Public Library

Libraries are not just for kids. While picking out a good read at the Lawrence Public Library is highly encouraged, there are a number of other activities you can partake in at the library. “People may not know, but the Lawrence Public Library has sound and audio studios that you can rent out for free as long as you book it,” says Patel. “So, I record music there.”

8. Get outdoors-y: parks edition

Again — these are not just for young kids. From Holcum Park to Centennial, the Prairie Park Nature Center to Mutt Run Dog Park, you can get your fix of vitamin D in no time. 

9. Get outdoors-y: sports edition

Another healthy alternative: Lawrence offers a number of different outdoor sports options. You can play Frisbee at Centennial Park, practice your soccer skills at Holcum Park, or get some of your friends together for a sand volleyball game outside the Robinson Center.

Ian Rogers, a biochemistry and pre-med sophomore from Reedsburg, Wisconsin, says he plays a lot of sports with his Lawrence friends. "Especially in the summer," he says. "We would play sand volleyball, like a lot."

10. A night in

Get the popcorn, grab a cozy blanket and plop yourself on the couch: it’s movie night. If you know what you’re doing, you can’t go wrong with a night surrounded by friends and flicks. Or, if your parents are in town, head to Regal Cinemas Southwind 12 — and splurge on popcorn and a soda, mom and dad’s treat.


Person 1: This song slaps.

Person 2: Your mom slaps.

Person 1: Thank you, my mom is a kind and wonderful lady.

 Person 1: I’m so sick of alcohol.

Person 2: I don’t know, I’m getting stronger every day. I love it.

Person 1: Do you do the vegan wrap here?

Person 2: We can do the chicken wrap with no cheese?

Person 1: I’ll take the Beyond Burger please. 

Person 1: Oh my God! I feel like I know you somehow…

Person 2: Yeah, we went to high school together. 

Person 1: Oh! *walks off*

Guy 1: Is the black market even real? Has anyone ever been on it?

Guy 2: I tried once but I couldn’t figure out how to get on.

Guy 1: I stayed up until 2 am watching Disney plus

Guy 2: I told my girlfriend I fell asleep but I was actually watching the Mandalorian.

Girl 1: How long have you guys been dating?

Girl 2: Since the summer, well actually for like two years but it’s a long story.

Girl 1: Who are you looking for?

Girl 2: This guy, wait I found him. Fanny pack boy. He flipped off my professor after a test and ran out of the classroom.

Girl 1: How did you choose KU? 

Girl 2: Honestly, I flipped a coin. 

Boy 1: Did I tell you? I think I had a threesome this weekend.

Boy 2: Woah, hold up. You think?

Boy 1: I was born a Phi Delt.

Boy 2: Please don’t ever say that again.

Girl 1: How do you get your boobs to look like that?

Girl 2: I don’t ever wear a bra? I don’t know. 

Girl 1: I just really want a guy to bend me over you know?

Girl 2: How do you know? You’re a virgin!

Guy: Sometimes I wish I could just be a dog and sleep all day. 

Girl: You wake up at like three every day. 

Guy: I know.

Girl: So…

Guy: So does that make me a dog or something?

Girl 1: I wish I was a little bit taller.

Girl 2: I wish I was balder.

Girl 1: I wish I had a...wait, wait, wait balder?

Guy 1: Let’s slap dicks

Guy 2: You ever pee and it feels like throwing up?

Woman 1: *holding baby* He would have been safer at the Hawk

Woman 2: Oh absolutely.

Girl 1: I would never date that guy.

Girl 2: Well, it depends how much money he has.

Girl 1: I’m going to the doctor to see if I have bronchitis before I hook up with him again.

Girl 2: Yeah that’s smart so you don’t give it to anyone else. 

Girl 1: No I mean I want to make sure I infect him.

Guy 1: I'm cutting some of my unnecessary costs, starting with Juuling.

Guy 2: Ight man, good luck.

Guy 1: Actually I might just start chewing

Guy 1: How was work?

Guy 2: My manager was chastising me for not dressing up in a Halloween costume, she doesn’t understand I’m strictly here to get paid.

Guy 1: I am so tired of this week, man

Guy 2: Dude it’s Monday

Guy 1: I know

Person#1: I want to be on the first ship to mars

Person#2: Not me, I doubt they have Wi-Fi

Perons#1: Yeah but at least they’re evolving up there. We’re all just devolving.

Girl 1: Um, I don’t eat pig.

Girl 2: You eat bacon all the time, bitch.

Guy 1: You better get going. 

Guy 2: Yeah, see ya. I’m off to get some Adderall.

Girl 1: Are you home right now?

Girl 2: Yeah, why?

Girl 1: I bought a cat

Girl 1: I just don't understand what fishing is for.

Girl 2: I don't know. Food, maybe?

Guy: I’m just gonna have to like carry an entire box of spiders up the hill tomorrow.

Girl: What?

Guy: Yeah, just like a hundred spiders in a box.

Guy 1: Sometimes ya just gotta give yourself a haircut.

Guy 2: Dude, you shaved half your head. That’s not a haircut, that’s a mess.

Girl 1: Can you eat fruit raw?

Girl 2: How else are you supposed to eat it?

Girl: That class is killing us. ​But they say rest is for the dead.

Guy: Well, at least we'll be rested.

Girl: She's not in class this semester

Guy: Maybe she's dead

Girl: Or studying abroad